what to say to someone that invites themselves over

• #21

Depends, do they drink?

Or, perhaps--do they experience their underage teens are mature enough to drink and do they let them?

OP--I would jsut tell them that you lot have realized that then many people in the house is too stressful for your family. Let them know you would love to spend fourth dimension with them if yous tin discover an affordable place for them to stay and assist them look for a house to rent (with kitchen), cabin at a campground, etc.

• #23

If "not right now" elicited the response, "neat, how about summertime?" then they may not exist getting the bulletin. I'd probably politely say "You know, honestly we don't really experience like the house is upwardly to hosting guests - we've realized sometimes information technology feels like we're stepping on simply each other here! We hope yous understand. We'd dearest to come across you lot though - I'd be happy to suggest some accomodations in the area, or if you'd prefer nosotros visit yous this time, maybe you could suggest some places we could stay there and we tin see if we can piece of work out a trip?" Yous're shutting them down from staying with you, and showing them in return that you lot don't automatically assume you tin can stay with them either. If they're shut enough and/or blunt plenty to ask if their family of six tin "crash" with yous when a "existent" vacation isn't in the cards, then hopefully they're thick-skinned enough to hear a polite no reply.

• #24

I'd probably say, "We would TOTALLY beloved to spend time with you. One favor, though -- our house merely isn't going to accommodate everybody. Is there any possible way you could swing the hotel only down the street? I looked into it and it's about x-number of dollars a nighttime."

If they pull the, "oh, nosotros tin just crash on the floor" thing, just say, "I really don't think that would work for us. I want to bask our visit and that just sounds like a nightmare for everybody."

Or you can you tell them you lot'll check with your spouse -- and and then blame information technology on your spouse that they can't stay with you. (Just kidding!)

mtemm

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• #25

I think you have to be articulate that you are not upwardly to hosting. some of the previous responses are good and could help with that. However, if you give them false reasons, like information technology beingness bad timing or financially unfeasable, they can easily overcome them (we'll buy some groceries!, allow's plan a different time!). be enthusiastic about seeing them, brand certain it isn't about them personally, but be clear that hosting does non piece of work for yous and your family.

• #26

Their repy, okay, permit's programme to exercise it some time in the summer. Nosotros accept been friends with these people for years, but we exercise not want to host them in our home, washed that before and was very stressed later on they left and a footling poorer keeping them all fed. Nosotros got out of it this fourth dimension, but do non know how we will keep putting them off and exercise not want to hurt their feelings.

If your only concern is coin, exist honest with them and tell them that y'all love having them merely cannot afford to entertain correct now. Explain that they are welcome if they aid with the groceries while in town.

If you lot just don't want them staying in your dwelling house anymore, you accept to decide how much their friendship ways to you. There is no overnice mode to say that they are not welcome to stay with yous anymore. Since you lot have done and so in the past and they thought information technology went well, they will exist hurt - mayhap insulted.

Edited to add together: We have a family unit that stays with us for one week every summertime. We love having them, only they are on holiday when they come up, and we are not. They want us to accept them all over the identify - NYC, Statue of Freedom/Ellis Isle, Hiking, canoeing, etc. Terminal twelvemonth we told them that they could come but nosotros would non be on holiday during their trip, so they would take to practise those things on their own. They did, and they had a not bad fourth dimension. Nosotros spent mornings and evenings together and had a great fourth dimension. A compromise that worked for anybody. They are returning this summer under the same agreement.

Mellie2162

<font color="blue">It means that a friend is watch

• #27

I think you have to be clear that yous are not upwardly to hosting. some of the previous responses are expert and could help with that. However, if you give them false reasons, like information technology existence bad timing or financially unfeasable, they can hands overcome them (we'll purchase some groceries!, let's programme a different time!). be enthusiastic near seeing them, brand sure it isn't about them personally, but be clear that hosting does not work for you and your family.

ITA! Honesty is the best policy. I don't know why but information technology seems like every summer my mom gets loads of family/friends who stay for a week or more. Its so stressful and costly for her to proceed them but she never turns anyone downwards. When they get out it takes her a calendar week to become her business firm cleaned back up and de-stress. I keep telling her that she needs to just tell them no, but she won't. Best of luck Op and keep us posted.

• #30

A skillful respond:

Bang-up, we'd dearest to encounter yous also! We but purchased a large tent that we'd dear to put up in the back yard for you. I think a neighbor even has a new camping ground toilet nosotros can borrow. I hear those solar shower things are adequately warm in the afternoon's. Simply, we tin only host on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays as the sprinkler organisation is on the other days and I tin't recall how to reprogram it.

Can't wait to see you!!

• #32

...No i has the right to invite themselves to YOUR house unless they're immediate family.... and sometimes non fifty-fifty then!!

I concord - only if they have stayed before, they probably wouldn't feel bad about request once again. Precedent having been ready, they recall that they are welcome to at least inquire. The problem - it puts the home owner in the awkward position of having to say no if it doesn't work for them - not good for a friendship. Sadly, not everyone thinks about that.

I would never just invite myself to stay in a friend'south dwelling house (or a relative's), even where we know that we are welcome. If we are going to be in the area, we let them know. If they invite u.s. to stay with them, we do. If they exercise not, nosotros stay in a hotel.

• #34

My proffer was tongue in cheek.

I know I wouldn't accept half-dozen people crashing at our house. Just wouldn't happen. I do think it's rude for someone to invite their family of 6 to stay at your business firm for a week. I wouldn't take a trouble letting them know it wouldn't piece of work. I'd endeavour to have a pleasant chat with other suggestions. If they persist near how it would work out at your business firm, I'd have to set them straight. I'd say something like, "It might work fine for you and your family, but not for mine. Nosotros'd however similar to encounter you though!".

Sometimes you can't beat around the bush. It'southward non rude to tell it like it is. And it's not rude to decline an invitation to be a hostess.

agnes!

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• #39

I recall its possible to have boundaries with friends that don't include letting them "crash" in your home. Its one affair to take friends over for coffee, dinner, or a party, its some other when 6 people are mooching free room and board off of you because they can't afford to take a holiday.

I think some of the responses are hilarious (the tent in the back yard is my favorite!) merely I recall the OP needs to firmly and politely put his(her?) foot down nearly this.

^^ This.

A couple of days, a long weekend...aye, that wouldn't usually be a big deal for most folks but a WEEK ?!?... Information technology might be different if the family brought a really nice hostess gift (perhaps a needed small appliance, like a new blender) or pitched in on some large projection around the firm (that new shed the OP'south family needs, etc.) but a WEEK is awfully long for half-dozen extra people to be underfoot. I get the feeling that this family simply crashes and merely "vegetates" at the OP'southward house. Perhaps they don't buy any groceries or make any meaningful contributions - brand a few meals, take both families out to dinner a couple of times, gild pizzas & rent some movies for a dark in... you lot know, that kind of thoughtful stuff hosts honey to take guests practice.

I take a shut relative who owns a lake firm/cabin. We accept relatives of relatives (no relation to united states) who recall they're entitled to ever stay there gratis for a week every summer. This is after they've left huge stains on the carpets and not cleaned upward after themselves plus they've never given any kind of host/hostess gift in return.
And then yeah, later all that happened over a couple of years, it's always inconvenient to allow them use the place at present.

agnes!

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